For context, when we first started dating she was in a stage in her life where she was fairly ‘loose’ with her faith (Christianity). Early on, we both acknowledged and accepted each other’s beliefs, or my lack of, and I thought that was the end of it. I mean couples don’t always share the same religious beliefs right?
This past year she has mended her relationship with god and has been pushing Christianity on me more and more. Inviting me to church, life group and another group called Alpha, and getting butthurt every time I tell her no. I have always attentively listened to her when she wants to talk about what went on in church, or the great conversation she had with her life group friend about God. Apparently listening isn’t enough anymore and she needs me to actually be a part of it. This morning she left to visit family for thanksgiving for the rest of the week. She left me with a journal to read, filled with entries focused on me and her relationship with god.
It was 30+ pages of entries, song lyrics, video/movie recommendations and quotes from other Christians in her life. I found it in part to be very genuine and from the heart while also extremely selfish and arrogant. To sum it up, basically god has a plan for her and that plan doesn’t include me unless I convert to Christianity and get ‘saved’. She stated that she’ll never be fully fulfilled in life unless I’m Christian.
I’m so full of resentment and sadness because she let this go on for so long, knowing my stance and knowing that ending it earlier would have saved a lot of pain now. I love this woman with all my heart and I would gladly spend the rest of my life with her. She’s helped me overcome so much and become a better person. But to throw this on me and give me an ultimatum is completely fucked up.
I’m having a very hard time dealing with the thought of letting her go and being alone.
Sorry if this post seems disorganized. I’m pretty scatterbrained right now.
Edit: If anyone would like to further contribute, please check out this post I just uploaded. Thanks again!